Outward appearances

I watched a couple of interesting shows the other day-- Half Ton Dad and Half Ton Teenager. I really felt for these people. In some ways, allowing cameras on them was painful and fascinating. The dad weighed over 1000 pounds and the wall to this house had to be cut for paramedics to get him outside. He hadn't been able to properly bathe himself in over 4 years. Obviously being bedridden, his family still brought him enormous amounts of food--about 30,000 calories a day for him to get that large. I hope for his and his family's sake he'll be able to get the weight off, regain mobility and start "living" again.

The teenager Robby was a sad case. His mother babied and enabled him and many people on the show expressed concern that she would sabotage his weight loss efforts once he was able to return home. I think losing a previous son at 19 months made her want to keep her only living son a dependent "baby" in many ways. Feeding him, bathing him, catering to his every whim. It's an unhealthy relationship but they obviously love each other. I think in a subconscious way she doesn't ever want him to grow up. But he's literally killing himself at over 800 pounds--his heart can't take it.

I think the show made me think most about how these 2 men have glaring weaknesses for the whole world to see. There is no hiding for them. People express more disgust than compassion at their situtation. Do they have control over it? Sure, they have a choice over what they put in their mouth. They have a choice to refuse junk food. The addiction runs deep and couple that with unhealthy family dynamics and you have a recipe for disaster.

But what about those people--and we all know at least one--who present a carefully constructed image that doesn't reveal their weakness right away? Maybe they are verbally and emotionally abusive. They blow up at people for the smallest slight. Or maybe they are gossipy and judgemental. Maybe they lie or steal or any number of other vices. It's harder to tell a book by its cover in that situation. But sadly many people read an obese person as not worth getting to know. Just some food for thought.

Musings on Hestia

Hestia--a domestic goddess just like me and millions of other stay at home moms. I was just talking to a friend this morning about how even though we have all of these modern conveniences like dishwashers, washers and dryers, microwaves, etc. we still always feel behind on housework. Of course we have tons more dishes, clothes, toys, and just plain stuff than people from even the 19th and early 20th century. I heard somewhere that Americans are the only ones who rent storage lockers. Foreigners find that such a foreign concept. Of course we all have too much stuff and even when I get donate or get rid of stuff, I still have to find a place to put it! I haven't caved to rent a storage unit yet; hopefully we'll convert our carport to a garage this year and that ought to take care of a lot of our storage/clutter problems.

With four kids there's always practices, lessons, homework, diapers, Scouts, and other activities. Realistically I can't expect a perfect house but I do hope to get more organzied this year. My sister loves www.flylady.net and tries to incorporate a lot of her ideas and routines into her day. I just need to break the overwhelming (like laundry and toys) into more manageable chunks.